40 lengths (1km) & the end of 2012

New year's eve and I was in the pool by 9:35am this morning. It felt great after a week of eating large quantities of anything and everything delicious and being stuck inside when the weather was horrible. I wasn't sure how the right abdominal strain was going to be, so, I didn't set myself any target beyond 20 lengths but hoped I might be able to push for a 1km swim to round off the year.

The pool was pretty empty, which made a nice change. I had a lane to myself initially and set off. By about length 20, I was aware of the right ab strain niggling but really didn't want to stop. It didn't seem to be getting any worse and I felt fresh so I carried on. I got to length 32 and still felt pretty fresh so that was it....I went for the big "4" "0". I guess it took about 40 mins but I was really pleased that I didn't feel weak or tired by the end. I just felt like I'd had a good workout. I'm aware of the ab strain pain now but I am hoping that, as along as I don't push it, it will just settle down eventually (ever the optimist!).

Obviously the noticeable difference today was the fact that I felt fresh all the way through. Sometimes by about length 25, my stroke form becomes a bit ragged and/or it's a lot more effort to keep good form. However, today, it felt "easy". All that food I'd eaten over Christmas had done me good - replenished all my muscles!

I did catch a mild cold over Christmas but it's hardly worth mentioning - just a sniffly, tickly nose, which I'm hoping will go away asap.

So....it's the last day of 2012. The positives from this year are:
1. The running I achieved at the start of 2012 before realising my hip needed extra work first. I was particularly pleased that it never caused any back pain or problems other than the right hip issues.
2. Getting off the Trazadone. I don't sleep as well or as consistently now but my daytime functioning is better.
3. Starting and tolerating a swim and the gym once a week. The swimming has definitely improved my general stamina and is consolidating the strength work too.
4. Getting assessments on my right hip and left shoulder from a private physiotherapist. Neither issue is resolved but at least there's a way forward.

And, how shall I put it, the issues which still need work...
1. The obvious weakness in my right abdominal muscles, which keep getting re-injured
2. The right hip
3. The left shoulder
4. The LHS lower back tightness/pain/aggravation. This is another of those problems which I keep thinking has resolved only for it to resurface as bad as it ever was. I'm not sure what causes it - an irritation of a facet joint? Who knows. Anyway, it's something I have to constantly manage or take care not to aggravate and it's bl**dy annoying!

So, there we are. That'll do for today's reflections. Into a new year tomorrow. No resolutions necessary. Just the same old plugging away at improving my health and fitness in the hope of creating a way for life to blossom. I live in hope...

The Day after the Gym

I'm glued to the Strictly Come Dancing final but wanted to write a last post for this year.

After the gym yesterday, I didn't need to take any painkillers before bed to be able to sleep, which is great. Various stiff muscles today (shoulders/pecs/upper arms), plus a few sore/mildly strained/aggravated areas (LHS lower back, both butts/hips). I had a good night's sleep (for a change) and woke up at 10am. It's been raining most of the day - grey, wet and miserable - but it eased up this afternoon and I got out for a nice walk. Basically, I decided to see what I could manage. In the end, I did 4.5 miles in 1 hr 15 mins. The LHS lower back irritation was painful all the way through and, by the end, various hip connectors/structures were sore and my shoulders (esp LHS) ached from carrying my arms. However, I was pleased. I didn't feel drained or wiped out. I just felt like I'd had a good walk. Overall, I do feel really pleased with my increasing ability to tolerate exercise. I think being able to swim during the week now is helping to accelerate the rehabilitation process. Here's to next year's efforts and, hopefully, further improvements.

...now, it's a week of stuffing my face with all sorts of yummy things and enjoying a bit of a break from the isolation and rehab.

Another Two Weeks - Swim (0.5 miles) + Gym (+ RHS ab strain, again!)

Yup, it's been another couple of weeks of Tuesday swimming 32 lengths (0.5 miles) and Friday gym sessions. I tried to finished off the year with a flourish today at the gym and managed to re-injure my right abdominal muscle. To say I am annoyed is an understatement! After 3+ years of trying to manage and strength that injury, I am infuriated that I've aggravated it again. Anyway, today's gym set:

• 10 mins exercise bike (difficulty level 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then quad stretches
• Glute bridges 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 
• Right Hip adduction and extension using cable weights 6kg 2 x 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. 
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps. 
• Press-ups on floor (knees on floor) 2 x 10 reps
• Seated rows 10 kg 10 reps; 12 kg 2x10 reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (2 squats)
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 5 reps; 8kg 2x10 reps (i.e. upped weight and pulled right ab muscle...again! Grrrr!)
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 8kg, 2x10 reps.(weight increase from 6kg)
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 8kg 2x10 reps.
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 5kg 3 x 10 reps(weight increase)
• Plank 1 min hold 
• Crunches 2 x 10 reps
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

My shoulders do seem to be strengthening quicker now that I'm swimming as well. I just hope the 10 days off over Christmas will mean the right ab muscle heals up properly.

Still taking paracetamol at night after swimming for right butt (pudendal nerve?) pain.

My left shoulder was pretty aggravated after last Friday's gym session but seems a lot more settled this week. I think the difference is that I resisted the temptation to try a length of front crawl at the pool this week. I know the range of motion of the left shoulder is not good enough for it but it's a stroke I'd really like to do. Anyway, this week I made sure I stuck to breast stroke and back stroke. It's helped (unsuprisingly!).

Swim (0.5 miles) & Gym

Back to normal this week after a couple of Fridays off the gym. Hit the pool on Tuesday. I've started going to a newly opened pool locally. The changing facilities are still clean and well maintained and there's underfloor heating, which is lovely. The showers haven't had time yet to develop the inevitable black mould everywhere, which makes you wonder whether showering leaves you cleaner or dirtier! And, the pool itself is really well lit so you don't feel like you're swimming in an underground cave (which I often feel like in most swimming pools). The only downside is that it is busy/popular.

Anyway, this week I managed 32 lengths (0.5 miles). I reached my usual 26 lengths and then decided I'd go for it. I coped well and didn't feel completely wiped out on Wednesday although I was tired.

Today, I've been back at the gym.

• 6 mins exercise bike (difficulty level 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then quad stretches
• Glute bridges 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 
• Right Hip adduction and extension using cable weights 6kg 2 x 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. Clam exercise with red theraband 2x10 reps.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps. 
• Press-ups on floor (knees on floor) 2 x 10 reps
• Seated rows 10kg 10 reps; 12 kg 2x10 reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 10 reps; 8kg 10 reps
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 6kg, 2x10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 10 reps.
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps
• Plank 1 min hold 
• Crunches 2 x 10 reps
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

 My arm muscles felt stronger from the swimming.

Bit tired by afternoon.

Left Shoulder Assessment...Again

Made it to the pool this week and did my usual 26 lengths (650 metres), alternating breast stroke and backstroke. I'm not sure it's getting any easier but I do feel a sense of achievement once it's done. My head felt pretty tired the following day (I was typically short-tempered etc) but physically, I felt 'ok'. No gym today. I made an appointment to have my 'frozen' left shoulder assessed by a very good physiotherapist.

The physio tested the shoulder and nerves thoroughly and came to the conclusion that, essentially, the front of the shoulder had tightened up substantially. The nerves and all other structures need mobilising and lengthening. He said that my rotator cuff strength was good (which I was really chuffed about). The shoulder is no longer (if it ever was, which I doubt it!) frozen. It needs some work so he's writing to my GP to get a referral on the NHS for some physiotherapy. Hopefully, that will sort it out. Superb! I am really chuffed. I was concerned I'd need to see a specialist in London and have all sorts of nerve tests and scans and perhaps an operation.

Everything that the physio said rung true with how I experienced the 'freezing' of the shoulder. I always felt it was nerve related. The exercises that the NHS physio got me to do 4 years ago were way beyond what my shoulder could manage, and was used to, and the nerves got incredibly irritated, causing the shoulder to 'spasm' and seize up. It's been a case of trying to help the nerves and soft tissue release, lengthen and strengthen ever since!

The physio did some work to release the left side of my neck and stretch the nerves there. He then moved on to stretching the front of the shoulder. I have a feeling it's going to be painful later. At the moment, I've got a heat pack around my neck and feel a bit faint and nauseous from the treatment.

Brief update

Away at the end of last week and over the weekend. Then I had a slight cold and felt worn out so didn't make it to the pool on Tuesday. Back at the gym as usual today, in spite of feeling rather drained.

Today's gym set:

• 7 mins exercise bike (difficulty level 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then quad stretches
• Right Hip adduction and extension using cable weights 6kg 2 x 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Glute bridges 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. Clam exercise with red theraband 2x10 reps.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps.
• Seated rows 12 kg 2x10 reps; 14kg 6 reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 10 reps; 8kg 10 reps
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 6kg, 2x10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 10 reps.
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 2 x 10 reps
• Plank 1 min hold 
• Crunches 2 x 10 reps
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

Tired/sleepy this afternoon - not wanted to do anything. Mildly achy left shoulder. Crick in neck on left side been present for 2 weeks - still niggling away, restricting turning of head to left.

Made an appointment with the private physio for next Friday about my 'frozen' left shoulder. It needs sorting out and it's time I got some advice....

Improving Recovery Still

Back to normal this week with a swim on Tuesday (26 lengths = 650 metres) and the gym on Friday.

My left shoulder has been pretty bad for the past few weeks - constantly aching through the tendons and aggravated further by each gym session. On Friday, I made sure to stay within the pain-free range of motion (leaving out the floor press-ups and reverse flies) and that seems to have done the trick. It's still inflamed but improving.

So, this week's gym set:

• 7 mins exercise bike (difficulty level 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. Clam exercise with red theraband 2x10 reps on side, 10 reps on back, Jane Fondas 10 reps, 10 reps with red-theraband.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps.
• Seated rows 10 kg 10 reps, 12 kg 2x10 reps; 14kg 6 reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Right Hip adduction and extension using cable weights 6kg 3 x 10 reps (new exercise)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 10 reps; 8kg 10 reps (i.e. increase in weight)
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 6kg, 2x10 reps.
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps (aggravated front of shoulder so just did the one set)
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 2 x 10 reps
• Plank 1 min hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

I added in the hip adduction and extension with the cable weights to try to up the rehab rate of the right hip. I think it's a case of really building up the glute medius and maximus. After doing those exercises, the single leg glute bridge was actually easier (the muscles wobbled less under the weight).

I've had a crick in the neck on my left side since Thursday, which is still bad. It basically prevents me from turning my head all the way to the left. No doubt, it'll settle down eventually. 

The Usual

No swim this week due to other commitments.

Today's gym set:

• 7 mins exercise bike (difficulty level 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. Clam exercise with red theraband 3x10 reps on side, 10 reps on back, Jane Fondas 10 reps, 10 reps with red-theraband.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps; press-ups on floor, kneeling 2x10 reps.
• Seated rows 10 kg 10 reps, 12 kg 2x10 reps; 14kg 8 reps; reverse flies 2kg 2 x 10reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 2x10 reps 
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 6kg, 2x10 reps.
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 5kg 2 x 10 reps
• Plank 1 min hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

Edit: 21:40
My bad left shoulder is getting pretty aggravated by the floor press-ups and/or reverse flies, I think. For the past couple of weeks it's been pretty achy/sore afterwards and this evening I've needed to ice it to relieve the pain. I may well take painkillers before bed. At some stage soon I'm going to have to get this shoulder looked at again. Very frustrating.

Tired through the afternoon with mild lower back ache. Rallied by this evening but looking forward to bed!

Unusually good recovery!

In spite of various stresses/worries etc, I was very pleasantly surprised by how well I recovered from my swim on Tuesday. Wednesday, my energy levels were good and I didn't feel the need to just collapse in front of the telly all day. I got out into town and was pretty active. I had an awful night's sleep on Wednesday though so Thursday was pretty rubbish. Friday, I woke up refreshed and hit the gym as usual.

This week's gym set:

• 6 mins exercise bike (difficulty level 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. Clam exercise with red theraband 10 reps on side, 10 reps on back.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps; press-ups on floor, kneeling 2x10 reps.
• Seated rows 10 kg 10 reps, 12 kg 2x10 reps; 14kg 5 reps; reverse flies 2kg 2 x 10reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 2x10 reps 
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 6kg, 2x10 reps.
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 2 x 10 reps, 5kg 10 reps
• Ab crunch machine 12 reps 20kg
• Plank 1 min hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

The press-ups felt easier. My hamstrings kept cramping on the SLGB so I think I need to modify that to activate the glutes and inhibit the hamstrings (advice seems to be to put your toes against the wall).

My shoulders/pecs/upper arms have been a bit stiff since, in a good way. I managed 3 hrs birding yesterday morning and an hour this morning (lower back was aching by end of both sessions though). It helps that I'm not really doing any leg work at the gym otherwise the w/e birding wouldn't be possible. I was wiped out yesterday afternoon and will have a quiet afternoon today.

FOUR YEARS & Swims

Yup.....4 years I've been at this rehab thing. Not got the optimism or motivation to reflect on that today. Just heard from ATOS (DWP benefits assessors) that I've been called for a medical assessment. I've heard so many horror stories about them that I am absolutely dreading it. Gutted.

Ok, so did 26 lengths (650 metres) of the pool last Tuesday and today. Skipped the gym on Friday as I was away visiting family. Last week's swim felt easier than this week's. I guess I'm in real need of encouragement and should get myself along to the physiotherapist. Maybe next month, once this ATOS thing is done.

Man! I wish I didn't need to depend on government benefits. I hate it! I hate the constant uncertainty - you never know when they'll change things or stop things and the first you hear about it is when you check your bank account. I hate feeling like I'm a scrounger or somehow don't deserve the help. I'd give anything to be healthy enough to work for a living!

Not a good day....

Swim, Gym and Vertigo

Quick post today.

The vertigo has hung on through the week. Worst in bed, turning over, especially onto my right side. Didn't want to miss the pool again. Swam 26 lengths (650 metres) on Tuesday morning, although the combination of rippling water and vertigo meant that standing in the pool was almost impossible - I kept losing my balance. The whole thing wasn't too pleasant but I loved being able to swim. Mildly strained the front of my inner right shin, by the knee, on the breast-stroke leg kick.

Worn out Wednesday and Thursday. Back at the gym this morning....

Today's gym set:

• 6 mins exercise bike (upped difficulty level from 7 to 8)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 10kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. Clam exercise with red theraband 10 reps on side, 10 reps on back. Then another set of glute bridges 10 reps 10 kg, 10 sec hold.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps; press-ups on floor, kneeling 2x10 reps.
• Seated rows 10 kg 10 reps. 12 kg 2x10 reps; reverse flies 2kg 2 x 10reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5reps; 6kg 2x10 reps 
• Combo exercise, pulling cable weight from floor, across body, stretching up to other side 6kg, 2x10 reps. First introduced exercise last week with 4kg weight.
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Ab crunch machine 12 reps 20kg
• Plank 1 min hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

Vertigo recurrence

Missed the pool on Tuesday this week. When I went to bed on Sunday night, I had intense vertigo whenever I lay my head in a particular position or turned over onto my right side. It was the same symptoms as my last episode with inner ear problems. Anyway, symptoms were still there on Monday night and I figured that swimming backstroke was going to be out of the question and I didn't fancy dealing with vertigo whilst swimming. As it turned out, I've not had any further symptoms since Monday night so whatever it was that had caused them has gone away. I'm guessing it was BPPV (Link) because the vertigo only seemed to be triggered with my head in a very specific position or being rolled into that position.

It was actually quite nice to have Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday without the exhaustion of swimming. I got out birding/walking each day and tried to stay active. However, by yesterday evening, I was pretty knackered. Incredibly, I slept until 11:10am this morning!! I couldn't quite believe it when I turned over and saw the clock. Anyway, made it to the gym and did the usual set. However, I was struggling with feeling pretty discouraged. I see other fit, strong ladies there and I end up feeling really depressed at how far I've still got to go. I'm frustrated with how inflexible I still am and how the range of motion for my shoulders is still relatively limited. Tired I guess....

The gym is harder since I stopped the running. I felt a real sense of achievement after I'd done a run. I don't get the same satisfaction from lifting weights. I'm already looking forward to my swim on Tuesday. I find that a lot more satisfying.

A Better Gym Session

After last week's disaster, I wasn't sure how today's gym session would go. My head had also felt completely drained after the swim on Tuesday and I'd not really been up to doing anything on Wednesday or Thursday. Thankfully, after a complete rest yesterday (basically a telly day), I felt better this morning and headed to the gym. I'm still not doing any leg work whilst the right hip strengthens up. So, gym set today:

• 6 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 7kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 10 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. 9kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 secs hold. Clam exercise with red theraband around knees 2 x 10 reps;
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps
• Seated rows 10 kg 2 x 10 reps. 12 kg 10 reps; reverse flies 2kg 2 x 10reps; vertical flies 4kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 2 x 12 reps (dropped weight - still cautious re: right ab) + 6kg 10 reps (did this very gently without pain)
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Plank 1 min hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

Highs and Lows Again

It's been a bit of an up and down week. I'm now trying to swim on Tuesdays and go to the gym on Fridays. I've dropped the running from the Friday gym set whilst my right hip resolves. However, last Friday was a disappointing session, nearly reducing me to tears. I basically gave up after finding that my right lat muscle, right tricep and right ab were still healing/strained. This pretty much restricted everything and it was extremely frustrating. Add to that that the LHS lower back tightness/ache/pain has recurred as bad as ever it was for the last 12 days. I think the side-slide exercise, strengthening the oblique muscles, is the problem. It flexes my spine in such a way as to aggravate the nerve or whatever it is that's the problem. It's a pain that drives me nuts!

....anyway.....I was back at the pool today. Did 26 lengths (650 metres) followed by some running/walking in the water. I reduced the distance from 32 lengths after the right lat strain last week. I reckon the 26 lengths is manageable with the gym session thrown in.

The right hip/butt/groin pain has reduced since I stopped doing the running or really testing it. I'm simply concentrating on glute bridges, single leg glute bridges and the clam exercise.

That's it really. Just posting an update rather than not writing at all....

My Summer Sporting Joy is Complete!

Woke up to the fantastic news that Andy Murray had won the US Open!! Absolutely thrilled for him. What an amazing way to finish off this spectacular sporting summer. When I went to bed, he had just won the first set and I was optimistic but didn't dare put the trophy in his hands. Looks like he fought tooth and nail for this victory, taking nearly 5 hours - sterling effort and flipping well deserved. I've ordered my celebratory towel and cap from the US Open - chuffed to bits.

From the BBC text commentary last night:
"Seventy-nine years ago, on 10 September, Fred Perry, seeded third, won the US National Championships to secure his inaugural Grand Slam win. In glorious sunshine, the Brit beat the second seed Jack Crawford, the then reigning Australian Open champion. Today, on 10 September, Andy Murray, the third seed... need I go on?" And....he did it....just as Fred Perry did 79 years ago. Beautiful symmetry.

.....now, it's nearly 8:30am and I need to get myself together to head off to the pool...

I'm back...

Ok, so 3 weeks have passed. To summarise, after 3 days of the daily physio exercises and a Friday gym session, I developed pretty bad lower back pain and the right hip pain was much worse. I abandoned the physio and took a break from the gym. The back pain, which I suspect was irritated nerves (muscularly I could still do everything without inducing pain) lasted 2 weeks. I took painkillers every night and felt pretty disappointed. However, during those 2 weeks, I did enjoy a couple of swims. In fact, I did 32 lengths (0.5 miles) on both occasions with only 3 full days rest between sessions. It felt like a real achievement although the second session was harder and I was scared that I wasn't going to cope with the recovery etc. However, I did, although my nervous system was a bit shocked (i.e. the night after the second swim, I was back to experiencing the sleep starts).

Then, it was a week away with a family member so no physio or gym/pool.

I was back at the gym yesterday. I mostly stuck to upper body and some core work. I am trying to find ways to strengthen the right hip and pelvis without inducing further pain. It's very disappointing to have to stop the running - I really loved that. I'm also not able to do any leg strengthening work as that requires the hips/pelvis. So my gym set yesterday:

• 5 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 7kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 5 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each. 9kg dumbbell across hips 8 reps, 5 secs hold.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 8 reps
• Seated rows 10 kg 3 x 10 reps. 12 kg 8 reps
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 2 x 10 reps (dropped weight and reps - trying to heal right ab strain)
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 8kg 2 x 10 reps (strained right tricep on second set so had to stop)
• Side slides using cable weight (for oblique muscles) 8kg 3 x 10 reps (done gently to manage right ab)
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 4kg 2 x 5 reps, 3kg 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Glute bridges:7kg across hips 10 reps, 10 secs hold (added second set to improve work out)
• Ab crunch machine 10 kg 3 x 10 reps (light weight, more reps - managing right ab)
• Plank 1 min hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.
• Once home, did bicep curls 10 reps 5kg.

I felt tired but not wiped out in the afternoon because I'd not done the 2km run. I had some right hip/butt/groin discomfort and iced my right butt in the evening. Took painkillers last night to be able to sleep. Looking at the gym set I did yesterday, it really doesn't take much to induce right hip structure pain.

In terms of picking up the physio exercises again, I am seeing how my hip copes if I introduce each exercise one at a time. So this week, I've done 5 days of the standing on the stair, tilting pelvis exercise. Next week, I might try adding in the single leg glute bridges. I think I've learnt that my body violently resists perceptively big, sudden changes to the way I use my muscles. If I introduce things slowly and in small steps, it might be easier to assimilate.

Today, I have some nicely stiff pecs/shoulder muscles. I don't feel too drained (although I have had a headache for the past 3 days - scalp tenderness/tightness again - hormonal?). Mmm....yes, the scalp pain is a weird one. Every so often, I get days (sometimes extending into weeks) where my scalp is extremely tender/painful and induces a kind of constant headache. I don't know what causes it or any way of getting rid of it. Painkillers don't really work. It just seems to come and then go. I suspect it's as a result of hormone changes but who knows. Anyway, I hate the days when it's present.

So, the sun is shining and I'm hoping to make the most of it this afternoon....Will be home in time to see how Andy Murray gets on in his semi against Berdych.

New Lower Back Pain

After last Thursday/Friday, I thought that I'd just mildly strained my lower back from the daily physio and gym session. However, it turned out to be a chronic thing, most probably nerve related (as the muscles are fine but the pain remains). So, I've been taking painkillers all week to sleep (and occasionally during the day) for lower back pain and right butt/hip pain. Stopped all physio and went to the pool on Friday rather than the gym. Swimming helped but the back pain returned Saturday morning after standing just a short time.

I have worked out that one of the right hip problems may be pudendal nerve irritation. The symptoms fit perfectly. Will let the physio or GP know if/when it helps.

Physical/mental recovery has definitely been better since coming off the Trazodone.

That's it. Fed up with being in pain really after hoping for the reduction in hip pain and ending up with chronic back pain and even worse hip pain!!!

Back to a daily physio routine

Northern Wheatear (passage migrant), Buckinghamshire, 11/08/2012

It's been a week of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'm glad to have a way forward with my right hip. On the other hand, getting back to a daily physio routine has been quite hard to come to terms with. I thought I'd done all the ground work. I remember the first 6 months of 2 hours of daily physio routines (1hr am and pm) and the constant pain, injuries and exhaustion. I didn't have any room for anything else in my life! It does feel like a step backwards to now be doing an hour of physio a day (1/2hr am and pm). My right hip has hurt constantly since the physio appointment and I'm now taking painkillers every night to be able to sleep with it. I'm also icing my right butt at least once a day. Overall, it's worse and I'm hoping that's it's a case of it getting worse before it gets better.

I tried to stick to the exercise bike last week rather than going for walks - it's kinder to the hip joint.

I did my usual gym session yesterday but followed the physio's advice to revert back to 2km run/walk (2mins run/1min walk) rather than a full run on the treadmill. Unfortunately, my hip was really a lot worse and I reckon that I need to stop the treadmill work completely until the hip is pain free. It seems silly to do the high-impact work knowing that it's not really strong enough to cope.

Of course, that's disappointing. When I started to run, it felt like I was finally getting somewhere. I guess I have to recognise that my body still isn't strong enough to manage running (especially when walking even aggravates the hip!). Once again, I've had to recalibrate my assessment of a) where I was when I started this (i.e. I must have been a lot weaker than anyone realised) and b) how much further there is to go.

On a more positive note, I have been day-dreaming about the prospect of having a healthy right hip. The thought of it being pain-free is wonderful. I can only imagine what it would be like to walk and run and swim and not have to worry about how much my hip will hurt as a result etc. Bliss. Oh to be pain-free!!

The other positive is that I was able to get out for a walk today (the day after the gym) and enjoy the sunshine and birds. It's early days, but I'd say that coming off the Trazodone has improved my post-exercise recovery by about 50%. My brain feels less drained/fogged up and I feel less like I've been hit by a bus. The limiting issue today was the hip and my lower back (which is slightly strained from the efforts of the daily physio, I think). It's all about the muscle weakness and fatigue right now....grrr.....

I'll get back to the daily physio tomorrow and probably go for a swim next Friday (it's easier on my body, esp hip). The following week, I'm off on holiday so that should give my hip the best chance to heal up and strengthen up.

Re: the Trazodone withdrawal: I think my emotions have stabilised a bit now and I am sleeping a little more normally (albeit fitfully -waking a lot during the night). It's still taking a while to get off but the hypnic jerks have all but stopped (unless startled by my noisy neighbours!). I do feel more refreshed during the day, even if it's taken me a long time to get off to sleep.

Physio Assessment - Right Hip

I should really start this post with a word about Andy Murray and his Gold (and Silver!) medals. However, my mood, the last couple of days, has plummeted somewhat and it's hard to write with the inspiration the achievement deserves.

Woke up yesterday and today feeling tearful and depressed. I can only put it down to a further stage in the Trazadone withdrawal. I had a few days of feeling really good, alert, energised and positive and now I seem to have swung to the opposite. I shall just hang on in there and hope it'll pass.

Finally visited a local physiotherapist this afternoon about my right hip. The upshot of the hour-long appointment is that the pain/problems are still down to muscles imbalances and weakness. Even after 4 years of rehab directed at these main muscle groups, my glutes (esp the outer glutes) on my right side are still too weak to allow my hip to function properly. The upside is that it doesn't seem to be a structural problem and that a few daily, targeted strengthening and stretching exercises should sort things out. The downside is that I just cannot believe that, after 4 years, my hips still aren't strong enough to function properly. I should be pleased there's nothing seriously wrong, but I actually just feel gutted. For 4 years, I have done countless reps, with increasing difficulty, targeting the glute complex of muscles....and still they're too weak. At this point, I'd like to swear and curse etc etc but I won't. I suspect I'm not really in the right emotional head-space to deal with much at the moment.

So, the daily exercises are a couple of stretches targeting short/tight hip flexors and a couple of exercises aimed at strengthening the outer glutes on the right side (single leg glute bridges and an exercise where I stand on my right leg on the stairs and then drop/lift my left leg down/up from the hip (hard to explain, see below)).

Quad Stretch: 1 min, 4 x each leg

Hip Flexor Stretch: 1 min, 4 x each leg

Single-leg Glute Bridge: as illustrated but once in position B, lift left foot off the floor

and hold for 3-5 seconds, 5 reps, 2 x per day

5 reps, 2 x per day

More Murray Magic

A great day for sitting in front of the telly! Thoroughly enjoyed the Murray and Robson matches today. Full of skill, drama and smiles. I wonder if Murray can manage double Gold?! Either way, it's uplifting and exciting to have GB in the final of two Olympic tennis events. Great effort Andy - well done!

I should perhaps make some excuse as to why I post about Andy Murray on my rehab blog. It's not just because he's the best and most talented tennis player to come out of Britian in the last 70+ years. It's also because I am very aware of the hard physical work he's put in over the years. I have watched him transform his physique from good to excellent. He's put hours and hours of work into gaining muscle and condition. I don't think it came as naturally to him as to perhaps someone like Nadal. He has really had to work hard at it. And, that's where I feel some degree of affinity with him. It's taken him years. And, it'll take me years. We're world's apart but both with a goal to improve physical fitness for the lives we lead.

I really do take comfort from the fact that it has taken him years. It wasn't something he achieved in one season or even two. And, he's gaining all the time. I also take comfort from the fact that what he's achieved has been done with immense support, expertise and guidance. None of which I have. I don't have a physio to treat the sore muscles; I don't have access to an MRI scanner to assess with tendon I strained; I don't have a personal trainer or adviser or any kind of expert input. I am doing it alone. Therefore, I reckon I can be proud of what I've achieved so far and recognise that even with all the support/expertise etc in the world, it still takes years to transform one's physique if you're a 'hard gainer'.

Swim-Gym-Swim & DWP

I tried something new this week. After last Friday's swim, I felt I recovered pretty well and was surprised to be able to manage a good 3 mile walk on the Sunday morning, followed by another late afternoon. I was basically trying to wear myself out so I'd sleep but the fact that I could manage it felt fantastic. Of course, the glorious weather helped (and it could well have been some kind of temporary 'high' related to the Trazadone withdrawal). So, my plan was swim-Friday, gym-Tuesday, swim-Friday.

Tuesday, I hit the gym with the main intention to focus on my upper body (I'd done enough walking for my lower body). I did my usual weights routine but upped the number of sets by 1 or 2. I also did do a couple of sets of leg-press and leg-extensions. At the end, I went on the treadmill but quickly realised my legs had turned to lead - the nerves were fatigued and there was no way the muscles, esp below the knee, were going to work properly. At that point, I called it a day.

I had the usual right hip/butt/groin pain following the gym. It felt worse than normal, which was disappointing. I was hoping for improvements but it seems that using the leg-press and leg-extension machines aggravates the problem in just the same way as it used to. I also felt pretty worn out on Wednesday and Thursday.

Finally, I hit the pool again on Friday and swam 32 lengths (0.5 miles). It actually felt easier than last week although from length 20 onwards I was getting cramp in both feet (fatigued nerves again). I came out of the pool, showered, changed and actually felt good. It was a positive experience. It was also the last time I'll be able to use that pool. It's a members only, 'posh' fitness club, which at one point offered non-members the opportunity to buy 4 visits for £30. I used my last one yesterday and they've stopped doing the offer. There's no way I can justify, let alone afford, membership.

This morning, I feel tired but ok. I suspect it'll be a telly day, recovering.

Other stuff this week.....I have arranged a physio appointment for Monday 6th at a local physio centre, for my right hip. I need some help with it.

...and....the letter I have been dreading for months and months finally arrived from the DWP on Thursday. They are reassessing everyone on disability benefits to transfer them onto this new employment and support allowance (ESA) benefit. Everyone goes through the "work capability assessment" (WCA) process, starting with a questionnaire, followed up with a medical assessment. The horror stories for those with mental health issues or conditions such as ME/CFS are numerous. In essence, the WCA doesn't sufficiently assess conditions which fluctuate or have a mental health element. People who have been struggling to recover find themselves having benefits withdrawn and their fragile mental health shattered once again. This post on the MIND website sums it up well: Link

Finally, a word on the Trazadone withdrawal. I have now done 9 nights without it. The first 4-5 nights weren't pleasant at all due to the hypnic jerks and my brain having no capacity to seemingly switch off. I wasn't getting to sleep until about 2am and then sleeping very badly for perhaps 4 hours at most. The last 4-5 nights have been better although still not great. After 12 years of having sleep-inducing medication, it seems like my brain is going to have to relearn the sleeping process. It is taking hours to get off to sleep and then I'm waking fairly regularly through the night. I seem to be getting the best sleep as we head into the morning. Today, I allowed myself to sleep until 10am. I can't work out yet whether I feel better during the day for having come off the meds.....we shall see. If there's no real day-time improvement and my brain fails to learn to sleep again, then I may end up just going back on the meds. I'll maybe give it a good 6 months and then re-assess. 

Andy for Gold

I'm loving the Olympics and especially seeing Andy Murray beat Novak Djokovic this evening to get through to the Silver/Gold Medal final on Sunday. What a superb effort. He played tight, aggressive tennis. Can he go one better than he did at Wimbledon....!?! I'll definitely be cheering him on.

I'll save the weekly rehab update for tomorrow sometime....

Trazodone Withdrawal & A Swim

For more than a decade, I have been on some kind of psychoactive medication to help me to sleep. One of the horrible things about depression/PTSD/etc, is that the sleep-wake cycle can go completely haywire. When I was most ill, I was on a combination of tranquillisers and sedatives just to get some kind of sleep at night. The alternative was long, anguished night's, wide awake and feeling increasingly tired, ill and desperate for relief. Anyway, I was later put on Trazodone, a sedating anti-depressant, which I take just after getting into bed. I have been on that for, well, who knows how long, perhaps just under 10 years.

In my attempt to figure out what on earth is causing my disabling mental fatigue, I looked up the side-effects of Trazodone. I also reasoned that on gym days, I feel tired through the afternoon but rally and feel fine/alert by the evening. It's only after I have taken the Trazodone (and other daily anti-d) that I feel utterly drained/rubbish etc the following the day. It occurred to me that it might be the Trazodone which is causing the daily mental fatigue. Over the past 11 days, I have first reduced the dosage (by emptying some of the contents of the 50mg capsules) and then finally stopped taking my nightly dose.

The main side-effects have been great difficulty in sleeping and emotional instability (i.e. crying/laughing easily). The problem whilst trying to get to sleep is that my body and brain feel wired. It's like my nervous system is raw and heightened and every nerve fibre is primed. There's also a kind of horrible feeling through my body, the sort of feeling you get when you know you're going to be sick but it hasn't happened yet. Almost like you've been poisoned and your body hasn't yet expelled the venom. The whole body feels uncomfortable and twitchy and horrible. Finally, the biggest issue is hypnic jerks (Link) or sleep starts. I've had these the whole time I've been on anti-depressants but during this withdrawal they have been awful. Every single time I'm just about to fall asleep, my body does a shocking startle response and I'm zapped awake again. It's like being hit with an electric shock. And this happens over and over and over again, for hours as I try to fall asleep. Last night, it was beginning to feel a bit like torture. I was aching for sleep but my nervous system would not allow it.

So far, I have done 3 nights without Trazodone. The general pattern is to be kept awake until between 2 and 3am, then sleep fitfully for about an hour or so, then perhaps get another 2-3 hours between 5 and 8am. It's a very unpleasant sleeping experience but doesn't seem to be adversely affecting my days. I actually feel more awake and alert during the day.

The only thing I've found to help with the hypnic jerks is paracetamol. It seems to have something of a calming effect on the nervous system. Not sure if that's scientifically possible but, even if it's just a placebo effect, it's helping. The problem is I don't want to have to take paracetamol long term. It does make me angry that when they stick you on these drugs they don't say that getting off them is going to be a nightmare! When I reduced my Venlafaxine dose right down, it took a good year before my nervous system really started to feel more 'normal' again. I was an emotional wreck for months simply due to the withdrawal effects on the nervous system.

In terms of physical rehab, I hit the pool this week. With all the heat, I fancied a nice cool swim. Having not swum since January, I wasn't sure how I'd cope. But, it went well. I did 32 lengths (0.5 miles) in about 35 mins. No cramps in my feet or calves (for the first time ever) and no pain through the front of my left shoulder (for the first time ever). I also seem to have recovered well physically, managing a good 2.5-3 mile walk this morning. The gym work and running are making a difference! 

Right, I've run out of steam so will leave it there....

Physio Attempt & Another 2km

I apologise in advance if this post is poorly written etc. My head feels drained and thinking clearly is something of a challenge.

After last week's gym session, I decided I needed to take action regarding my right hip. It has improved but at the same time, it's still a daily problem. It's a significant limiting factor. I also realised that I can't deny any longer that the post-exercise fatigue and general daily exhaustion is what's holding me back from making real progress. Every week, I hope it'll get better. Every month that ticks by, I hope that I might have improved my resources by even a small amount. I have to admit that, on balance, they haven't improved anywhere near enough. If I'm honest, I feel pretty rubbish most days. Most days, I don't have enough energy to do even the simple things. I push against that. I dissociate it. As I've said before, if I waited until I felt up to doing the things I enjoy, I'd spend my life sitting and waiting. Often, it's a case of taking a couple of paracetamol, dissociating from how cr*p I feel, and then doing the thing I enjoy (mostly birding)....and worrying about the cost later.

Anyway....so, I booked an appointment with a private physio to get some advice on my right hip. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. Someone, somewhere had made a clerical error and I was booked in to see the chap but no-one actually knew where he was. No-one even had a phone number for him. They apologised etc etc...and I went away to think about it...not sure if I'll try again or just head to the GP (NHS). My plan was to get it properly assessed, go to my GP fully armed and then tackle both the hip and fatigue at the same time. We shall see.

This week's gym set. It was all a bit of an effort this week - I felt tired/washed out all week, including when I woke up on Friday to head to the gym. The 2km run isn't getting any easier. It always takes maximum concentration/perseverance. Everything in me just wants to stop.This week it definitely felt like I was flogging a dead horse.

• 5 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 7kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 5 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each.
• Press ups-plus (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 10 reps
• Run on treadmill (2km at 9.5km/hr in 12:45 mins)
• Seated rows 10 kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 6kg 3 x 10 reps 
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 2 x 10 reps, 6kg 10 reps
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 8kg 4 x 10 reps 
• Side slides using cable weight (for oblique muscles) 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 4kg 2 x 5 reps, 3kg 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

The right hip pain/ache kicked in after lunch. I took painkillers again last night to be able to sleep. I felt tired after lunch yesterday but, by tea-time, I'd rallied and felt fine/alert. Actually, I felt better yesterday evening than I have all week?!? Today, I've felt tired/washed out/headachy. Took paracetamol this morning cos I just couldn't be bothered to deal with the headache and hip ache.

I suppose the next step is an appointment at the GP....

Right hip problems & A better week

Spotted Flycatcher (one of a pair nesting locally this summer)

Ok, so I had better start with a word about Andy last Sunday. I thought he did fantastically well. For the first set and a half it looked like he might just pull off the win. He rose to the occasion, played aggressive, thoughtful tennis and put his heart and soul into it. Federer, however, was just too good. When it counted, he was able to play sublime tennis. I don't suppose there was a dry eye in the house during Andy's closing speech and it was hard not to focus the admiration and celebration on the vanquished rather than the victor. It was, after all, the best a British man has done at Wimbledon for 74 years! Wonderful stuff Andy!

For me, it's been a better week in terms of energy. I wasn't totally wiped out after last week's gym session. I had a mildly stiff left calve and the usual right hip discomfort but all in all, it was 'back to normal' thankfully.

This week's gym set:

• 3 mins walking to warm up (there weren't any bikes free)
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 6kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 5 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each.
• Easy Press ups 10 reps on hands and knees (didn't have access to where I normally do the press ups)
• Run on treadmill (2km at 9.5km/hr in 12:50 mins)
• Seated rows 10 kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 6kg 3 x 10 reps 
• Chest fly with cable weights 4kg 3 x 10 reps
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 8kg 3 x 10 reps 
• Side slides using cable weight (for oblique muscles) 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 4kg 4 x 5 reps, 3kg 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Reverse abs crunches 10 reps, Plank 2 x 30 sec hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

Generally, I felt like I didn't have much stamina this week. When I got to 1km on the run, I wasn't sure I was going to manage the next 1km. It was really hard going. Doing the weights, the first 8 reps were fine but the last 2 were often a struggle and in some cases I lost 'form'. I've no idea why my endurance was so low but anyway, I was pleased to achieve what I did.

When I left the gym, I felt good. I'd had some mild pain through my right hip when running (and it had actually been aching when I woke up that morning) but otherwise I was fine. I iced my right butt/hip through lunch as I could begin to feel the pain kicking in. I felt tired through the afternoon but by evening, I felt alert and fine again. I took painkillers for my right hip before bed.

Last night, I dreamt I went to an old outdoor, tennis court. Like the ones you find in parks - often run down and a little mossy. I had my old tennis racket but I'd bought some new balls. And, I started to just hit forehands across the net. Soon, children came to play and I began to knock up with them. I didn't have the energy to move much, and my shots lacked skill, but I enjoyed hitting the ball when it came to me. As the dream progressed the courts filled with people/children and it became clear there was a coaching session going on. I had to leave. I woke up from that dream this morning with the feeling and sense of joy of being able to play tennis again! I got out of bed and my right hip gave way on me. As ever, no idea what's wrong with it but it's painful and difficult to walk on. I might have to bite the bullet and head to the docs.

Of course, the disappointment of the right hip problems is magnified today with the longing of wanting to play tennis/sports again (writing that causes tears to well up). I love sport. I used to play tennis to a pretty high standard as a youngster/teenager. I played just below County level, going to two hour indoor coaching sessions once a week and matches at weekends. My sister and I used to always knock a ball around in the holidays and we'd talked about maybe trying that gently this summer....

We shall see.

A Tired Week but Andy's Through...!

Last weekend and most of the following week were a write off due to feeling completely and utterly drained after the gym (irrespective of taking Pharmaton). I've no idea why. There doesn't seem to be any pattern, rhyme or reason to it. Thankfully, I had Wimbledon to enjoy...

Yesterday, I didn't really know whether to risk the gym again. The thought of a repeat of last week's total wipe out was somewhat off-putting. However, the potential positives outweighed the likely negatives and I took the plunge. My Friday gym sessions really are the only 2 hours of the week where I get to feel strong, powerful and free and like a 'normal human being'. I get to do what 'normal people' do. The whole routine of getting ready, heading to the gym, working out, coming home, showering, changing and eating a good lunch is completely life-affirming. For that period of time, I feel normal. I feel relief. I feel like a solid, powerful human being.. I don't care that it takes days to recover or that each week I have to take painkillers for my hip for 2-3 days afterwards. That feeling of normality and empowerment is worth it!

Anyway, yesterday's gym session went well. I pushed myself to do the 2km run again at 9.5 km/hr with a sprint finish for the last 100 metres. I did that in 12 mins 45 secs. That's the part I most look forward to. Running. And the sprint finish is the icing on the cake. I think naturally, I'm a sprinter rather than a distance runner, and especially so since the mental and physical breakdown. I lack endurance in every way. I tend towards wanting to get things over and done with. It takes discipline for me to stick to a steady pace and not just sprint/walk/sprint/walk etc. Everything in me wants to push hard whilst I have energy then slacken off entirely only to then push hard again. It's probably very good for me to teach my body/brain that doing things at a good steady pace is possible.

The rest of the session was the usual weights/stretches etc. I didn't push too hard as I was a little worried about how I'd react afterwards. However, when I left the gym, nothing in particular hurt and I felt good. During the run, I'd not felt any pain in my right hip and my calves had coped better this week.

The right butt/hip pain kicked in during lunch so I iced that. The other issue last week was that the left butt/hip ache/pain and LHS lower back tightness, which I thought had resolved, came back as bad as before. Very disappointing. The right calve was mildly effected during running yesterday and is stiff today. The left butt/hip pain was still there through the afternoon (and today).

Surprisingly, I didn't feel too tired yesterday afternoon and, by evening, I felt alert and fine. I wasn't aching for sleep/bed. I do feel tired/drained today. I guess I'll know tomorrow how big an impact yesterday's gym session has had.

Of course, the thrill of yesterday was seeing Andy Murray reach the final of Wimbledon. I am a big Andy Murray fan and follow all his matches through the year. To have achieved a place in the final, under the enormous weight of hope and expectation of the British public/media etc, is an outstanding achievement. I don't know how he holds his nerve or withstands the phenomenal pressure. As for Federer in the final....well...I know Andy can beat him but on Centre Court, in a Wimbledon final...that's about as hard as it gets for a British player. It's a massive ask....here's hoping for a little magic...

(image courtesy of the internet!)

2km Run Non-Stop

After 2 weeks of feeling downright rubbish, I started to take Pharmaton* on Wednesday. It seems to have had the desired effect although who knows why or how or if that's a good thing or not!

So, back at the gym today. I was really chuffed to do a 2km run without any walking breaks, in 12 mins 55 secs. I set the pace at 9.5 km/hr which seemed just right. I think my muscles actually prefer to move faster but in terms of energy use, that speed worked. I upped the pace for the last 100 metres to 12.5 km/hr, which is a comfortable sprint. The right butt/groin pain was intermittent and mild. I knew it would hurt later but at the time, it was manageable. Since coming home, I've iced my right butt (the pain kicked in fairly quickly).

The rest of the session was the usual weights and stretches. I didn't push my abs as they felt a bit twingey and I reckon the running places good demands on my core.

All in all, a satisfying workout. If only my right hip would resolve, I'd be very pleased.

Edit 14/07/2012: * I stopped taking Pharmaton on the following Monday when it was clear that it wasn't having any positive effect and was in fact causing digestive problems. I suspect it's good for people whose vitamin/mineral levels are low but I know my diet etc is very good these days so no need for supplements like this. I guess my energy problems have another cause.

Rung Out

I'm not sure what's been going on with me over the past 10 days. I was particularly tired/sleepy/worn out after last week's gym session and took the usual painkillers for the right butt/hip/leg discomfort to be able to sleep on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. Monday, I was taking painkillers for a headache and generally feeling rung out. And that theme has continued and continues....

I've basically felt like all my get up and go has got up and gone. I feel drained mentally. Physically, I actually think I've recovered from the gym session, but my head/brain is completely fatigued. I went out birding on Tuesday and Wednesday, when the sun shone, but mentally, it felt like an up-hill climb the whole time. All I really wanted to do was crash out. I haven't had any patience or tolerance for anything that requires effort/thought. By Friday, the task of figuring out what to feed myself for the day was as much as I could manage. Needless to say, I skipped my gym session and had a very quiet, still day at home. And, it genuinely felt like it took all day to figure out what to eat for the next meal.

My hayfever has been really bad too, which doesn't help. And, I've been getting momentary episodes of vertigo on a daily basis. Most often, it's whilst propped up in bed, reading, before I go to sleep but I've also had them whilst watching TV or working at my PC. Interestingly, the week before I had the last severe attack of vertigo/vestibular neuritis, I felt very drained/exhausted. The other issue which dogged me for a few weeks was daily and almost constant severe scalp tenderness around the back/sides of my head. Basically, my scalp suddenly gets extremely painful when palpated and, if I rub/massage the areas, the relief I feel through my whole body is immense. I guess it's excessive muscle tension or something.Cause, unknown; solution, unknown....as usual!...but today, it's fine.

Furthermore, I look as pale as I feel, which never helps. All in all, I look and feel like death warmed up and I've no idea why. I took an iron tablet on Friday in the hope that was the problem but it had no effect. Yesterday, I wondered whether maybe I needed to do some exercise to kick start my system. It was a kind of kill or cure solution. In the afternoon, I got on my exercise bike and did 30 mins (7.5 miles) at varying levels of difficult and speed. I followed that with 10 minutes of stretches, glute bridges and general hip strengthening. I felt no better for it. I still felt completely mentally drained. I had no sense of any energy or adrenaline. Within about an hour of finishing, I felt even more tired and drained than I did before and the usual right butt/hip/groin discomfort had kicked in. The only bonus was I slept well last night!

Today will be another quiet day, doing nothing. I feel so completely mentally fatigued. My brain feels fried and I've got no capacity to cope with any demands etc. I don't feel like driving anywhere to go birding. At the slightest sign of effort, I want to give up and go home. I guess it's depression....due to the continuing social isolation and grind/pain of rehabilitation. Generally, I find ways of coping but every so often, it gets too much and my head says enough is enough....

Ah well....

Another week at the Gym

Back at the gym today after missing a couple of Fridays due to other commitments. However, I did do a couple of sessions on the exercise bike, 30 mins, varying difficulties/speed, 8 miles, to make up for missing those gym days.

So, today's set:

• 5 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 6kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold. 5 single leg glute bridges (each leg), 5 sec hold each.
• Press ups (plus) (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 8 reps
• Run/walk on treadmill (2km in 13:30 mins)
• Seated rows 8kg 10 reps (kept arms extended so just worked scapular muscles), 10 kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 6kg 2 x 10 reps 
• Chest fly with cable weights (4kg 2 x 10 reps) 
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 8kg 2 x 10 reps 
• Ab crunch machine 20kg 10 reps, 25kg 10 reps 
• Leg Press 41kg 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 5 x 5 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 4kg 3 x 10 reps.
• Reverse abs 2 x 10 reps, Plank 2 x 35 sec hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs/lats.

As ever, the limiting factor on the run was my right butt/hip. Pain kicked in after 3 mins running. Painful/sore through this afternoon in spite of icing it. Generally tired this afternoon, as usual. My right calf muscle coped a lot better with the run today, which is an improvement.

Continuing Improvement

Towards the end of last week, I was in two minds as to whether to head to the gym on Friday or not (I had social commitments over the w/e that I needed energy for). Thursday morning, I went out birding and had basically written off a gym visit. However, on Friday morning, I felt ok and couldn't resist.

I did my usual set. I managed the 2km run/walk in just under 13 minutes and the limiting factor was my right calf muscle/leg. I could have comfortably kept running but had to put in the walk breaks after 3-4 minutes to allow my right leg to recover a little. When I came home, I felt energised and good. I immediately massaged and iced my right calf and repeated that during the afternoon. The following day it was stiff but not as excruciating as last week. I still had to take painkillers that night for the right hip structures and the nerves down the leg remain uncomfortable/problematic.

In terms of energy levels and mental recovery, I think that's still improving. I felt recovered by yesterday (although my hip/leg muscles weren't/aren't). I feel the need to be more active and don't want days when I have very little to do, which is a significant shift for the better. I can even imagine a time potentially, if progress continues, when I will want to find work. That concept has been a million miles away from what seemed possible for over a decade. So....progress indeed.

I shall miss the gym this Friday due to more demanding commitments over the weekend and the following week. I suspect it'll do my right leg/hip good to have more time to heal up. However, I am playing table tennis tomorrow evening, which I'm looking forward to.

Left Shoulder

Although the strength and range of motion of my left shoulder has improved, it's still pretty restricted on external rotation (and also some pain/restriction on abduction). I've been reminded of this again this week particularly whilst out birding. If I want to sit in a hide, lean my elbows on the hide shelf and hold my binoculars to my eyes, I can only hold that position for a matter of seconds before the pain in my left shoulder is excruciating. Same applies if I'm lying on my stomach in order to take low-level photographs or look through my binoculars, whilst resting my elbows on the ground. I cannot hold that position for more than a few seconds before the pain is intolerable. In essence, it's rather restrictive!

I don't know what the final solution is going to be for this shoulder but at some point, I am going to have to bite the bullet and get some treatment. Maybe, if I can get my hips/legs pain-free, then I'll feel like I've got the resources to cope with treatment. Either way, I've been dealing with this problem for more than 3.5 years and that's not good!!

Surprising Improvement

I didn't need to take paracetamol last night for painful right hip structures. In fact, by the end of the day, I didn't have any right hip pain (I had iced my butt during the afternoon)??!?! Today, I've been free from right hip/groin pain for the first time after an exercise session in probably 4 years! It is amazing what just one day without the pain feels like. Relief. Hope. Normalcy. In fact, I've also felt alert and mentally well. My muscles, esp calf muscles, remain fatigued or sore, but otherwise I've felt good/fine/recovered. It is, I hope, another sign of this slow shift towards normal functioning. In terms of the right hip/butt pain, I suspect that the nerve or whatever it was has shifted position because it was a case of pain v no pain rather than a gradual reduction. Something has altered positionally/structurally to relieve the pain. Here's hoping it remains that way!

2km in 13 mins

Back at the gym yesterday. Nearly didn't make it. When I woke up, I didn't have any get up and go. It was one of those times where I can't work out whether going to the gym will finish me off or reinvigorate me. The consequences aren't much fun if it's the former! Anyway, having umed and erred for most of the morning, I eventually decided to go. And, I felt better for it. The most enjoyable aspect was the run/walk on the treadmill, when I upped the pace to a sprint and let rip. Man, it feels good to run fast. It makes you feel alive and powerful. I managed 2km in 13 minutes flat, which was my best time yet.

The rest of the session was the usual weights and stretches. I'm consistently managing 10kg on the seated rows and 6kg on the trunk twists now. When I left the gym, I had no particular pain. However, by mid-afternoon, the right butt/groin/leg pain had kicked in. Plus, the usual sort of burning/tingling sensation through the leg/foot. All of it, I guess, is related to irritated nerves within the hip structures. Very frustrating.

I didn't feel too drained through the afternoon/evening. I was tired but ok. I took paracetamol for the right hip to be able to sleep last night and will do the same tonight. I've got stiff lower calf muscles/tendons and mildly stiff shoulders (which is good). I feel tired today and the right hip structure/leg pain is constant. I couldn't do too much, even if I had the energy, due to the hip and calve muscle fatigue.

I missed the gym last Friday as I had commitments over the w/e and the sore left IT band (which is now fine).

Post Script 22:10
I meant to elaborate a bit on the stiff calf muscles. The thing is I could feel them complaining whilst I was running. It was like the muscles couldn't cope with the speed at which they were being asked to work i.e. their respiration was too slow. They were cramping up even as I was running and I knew they'd be painful today. It's frustrating. I had only been running 3-4 minutes or so but that was the max my calves could take. It's like everything in body can work but only at a snail's pace or at minimal exertion. If I try to up the pace or stress the various structures don't have the capacity to accommodate those demands. I just hope that if I keep trying then that will change for the better....

Another Shift for the Better

Ok, I failed miserably to add to or update my entry last Friday. It was a case of wanting to wait and see how recovery went and then finding I wasn't in the right frame of mind to contemplate all this....

Anyway...here I am now...

Last week's gym session went well. I didn't feel so tired through the afternoon and the following morning I actually went out birding. That was my downfall! Although I was tired, I felt ok, but my muscles really were fatigued. They functioned like cold chewing gum - brittle/inelastic, dysfunctional and easily injured. I spent extended periods squatting and walking in a squat position whilst I stalked a bird I was trying to photograph (the culprit above - female Whinchat). On Sunday, it was clear I'd injured my left iliotibial band, dead centre on the outside of my left thigh. It's taken all week to heal up (still not there) and I missed my gym session yesterday. That injury and the general level of aches/pains through my butt/hip muscles kinda got me down - I'm fed up with muscles that recover at the speed of a slow snail!

The other weird thing about this week is that I've had trouble sleeping. On Thursday night, I was awake all night until about 6am. From 6 until 9am, I managed brief bursts of poor sleep, and that was it! It was a very odd experience. I've no idea why it happened. I may have forgotten to take my sedating anti-depressant before bed, but I can't remember. Essentially, the whole night, my body/brain felt wired and like I had 'restless leg syndrome' all through my being. Friday, I tried to get out and have an active day. I felt ok. I slept until 10am this morning and feel a little tired but generally fine. Maybe it's that I just haven't adjusted to having more resources. Maybe I need to do more....

...and that's the thing. For the past 3-4 weeks, after the gym, I've recovered better. Saturday's haven't been spent feeling utterly drained. My muscles still need the same length of time to refuel/heal/recover, but the general exhaustion level has decreased, I'm sure. I think it is another shift for the better....towards normality...

Sticking to running

Today's gym set:

• 3 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 6kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold
• Press ups (plus) (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 8 reps
• Run/walk on treadmill (2km in 13:50 mins)
• Seated rows 8kg 10 reps (kept arms extended so just worked scapular muscles), 10 kg 2.5 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 5 rep, 6kg 2 x 10 reps 
• Chest fly with cable weights (2kg 10 reps, 4kg 10 reps) 
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 8kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 3kg 4 x 5 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 3kgs 3 x 10 reps, 4kg 10 reps.
• Reverse abs 2 x 10 reps, sit ups 2 x 10 reps, Plank 2 x 35 sec hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs

Right butt was hurting slighting by end of the treadmill work. Will update this entry later/tomorrow...

Plugging away at the gym

Sedge Warbler

I've been a bit slack with the blog over the past couple of weeks. I guess it's mostly due to there being very little change. Just a case of plugging away at the gym work.

Had a good gym session on Friday 20th April:

• The exercise bikes were broken so skipped that
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 6kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold
• Press ups (plus) (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 8 reps
• 2km run/walk in 15 mins
• Seated rows 8kg 10 reps (kept arms extended so just worked scapular muscles), 8kg 10 reps, 10 kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 2 x 10 reps
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 2 x 10 reps 
• Chest fly with cable (2kg 2 x 10 reps)
• Bicep curls (4kg 10 reps)
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 5lbs 2 x 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 5lb 3 x 10 reps.
• Reverse ab crunches 2 x 10 reps; Plank 35 sec hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs

I had a few niggles through my abs so didn't push them. I was aware of my right butt/hip structures but no real pain. I iced my right butt immediately after lunch and again at 3pm (by which point the pain had kicked in). I didn't feel totally wiped out through the afternoon/evening, which made a noticeable change. In fact, it was one of those occasions when I just knew that something had shifted for the better and I wasn't going to be as exhausted as I had been in the past. I had to take painkillers before bed for the right hip for a couple of nights and it's not been pain-free since.

My calves and foot arches were stiff the next few days from the running. Also the balls of my feet have seemed bruised/painful to walk on ever since (I deliberately didn't do any running/walking today to give that a chance to clear up).

So, today's set....

• 5 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 6kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold
• Press ups (plus) (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 8 reps
• Hip adduction/abduction/extension using red theraband (2 x 12 reps)
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 10 reps
• Seated rows 8kg 10 reps (kept arms extended so just worked scapular muscles), 10 kg 2 x 10 reps.
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 2 x 12 reps 
• Chest fly with cable (2kg 2 x 10 reps, 4kg 10 reps)
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 5lbs 10 reps, 3kg 10 reps
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 3kgs 3 x 10 reps.
• Ab crunch machine 2x10 reps (15kg); Reverse abs 2 x 10 reps, sit ups 2 x 10 reps, Plank 2 x 35 sec hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs

Today, I stuck to weights work really. Upped the weight/reps on the seated rows, trunk twists, chest fly, lateral/front raises and did a bit more work on my abs/core. Didn't want to do too much cardio/high impact stuff because of the right hip structures. I nearly didn't go at all today as I felt kinda tired and washed out this morning.

I can feel the tiredness/sleepiness coming on....happy to do nothing this afternoon/evening....right hip already beginning to hurt....the ball of my right foot feels bruised/very painful to walk on. No idea why - didn't do any running/impact work today - maybe connected to right hip structures?...

Gym after 6 weeks off

I finally made it back to the gym yesterday after 6 weeks off. I was extremely tempted to skip it as it was a lovely sunny day and there were plenty of good birds around but I kinda knew I'd probably have that excuse most weeks through the Spring/early Summer.

I'd already aggravated the right hip structures whilst out birding/walking at the beginning of the week so I knew they weren't going to fair well yesterday. However, I was actually pretty pleased with how my body felt after the break. I didn't include any running/walking (due to the already painful right hip). Also, I didn't want to completely wipe myself out first time back.

So, the gym set yesterday:

• 5 mins exercise bike
• Hip/lower back stretches
  
• Glute bridges (10 secs hold) 3 reps then with 6kg dumbbell across hips 10 reps, 10 sec hold
  
• Press ups (plus) (at 45 deg angle) 2 x 8 reps
• Leg press 10 reps 41kg, 2x10 reps 48kg.
  
• Tricep extensions using cable/rope 6kg 10 reps, 8kg 2 x 10 reps
  
• Seated rows 6kg 10 reps (kept arms extended so just worked scapular muscles), 8kg 2 x 10 reps, 10 kg 8 reps.
  
• Wobble board 4 mins (5 squats)
  
• Trunk twist using cable weights 4kg 2 x 10 reps
• Combo lateral/front shoulder raises whilst sitting on exercise ball 5lbs 2 x 10 reps
  
• Lying on the floor, starting with elbows by my side, arms bent 90 degs, then pushing weight upwards against gravity, straightening the arm (modified front raise) 5lb 3 x 10 reps.
• Ab crunch machine 2x10 reps (15kg); Plank 3 x 35 sec hold
• Stretching: hips/lower back, hamstrings and chest/pecs

Generally, I didn't feel like I'd lost any strength as a result of the break. I was also aware that my upper body muscles felt fresher hence the reason why I tried the 10kg reps on the seated row. The only thing that hurt at the end of the session was the right front of hip and butt, which are still painful today. I was tired/sleepy through the afternoon but ok. Tired by the evening. I feel drained and tired today and won't be doing anything other than 'growing muscles'! I have the usual mild 'exhaustion' headache as well. Basically, my head feels like I just want to sleep. I have a few mildly stiff muscles (in a good way) (shoulders, upper thighs, butt). Overall, as good a return to the gym as I could have hoped for. I always wish that a good night's sleep would produce a full recovery but I know that may never be a reality for me.

The End of March

Well, March seems to have been spent dealing with and recovering from the Labyrinthitis/vestibular neuritis. It wasn't until last week that I began to get my energy back (a bit) and the vertigo and constant headache became less of a problem. It helped that we had such glorious weather too. I've not been to the gym/pool all March, which is frustrating. However, I have been out birding a fair bit so I've not just been sat on the sofa deteriorating!

So....here's hoping April is a chance to get back to a normal routine. One thing's for sure, I want to get rid of the headache, which seems to have accompanied the virus. I'm not sure there's been a day in the last 5 weeks when I haven't had a headache (including today!).

As ever, onwards and upwards.....

Still not too well

This is the 3rd week when I've missed a gym session. The vertigo problem is still lingering although improving slowly. I've had a few mornings where I've woken up feeling nauseous because of the inner ear thing (I assume). The nerves seem particularly sensitive when in certain positions, lying horizontally. I'm also getting momentary flashes of vertigo if I scan a certain way with my eyes. Using binoculars for birding isn't very pleasant at the moment and reading can also induce the 'spinning' sensation. I don't feel confident using my eyes or turning my head, if that makes sense. I tend to have to do things slowly and deliberately, giving my brain plenty of warning.

Generally, I'm feeling exhausted mentally. I'm needing a lot of sleep and a lot of rest. My head gets tired easily when driving. This week the neighbour's tumble drier reduced me to tears of despair as it woke me up two mornings in a row when I was feeling particularly 'ill' and vulnerable. They followed it up later each day with another hour of droning and pulsing. Anyway, I won't get into that. I could write an entire blog on the years of stress and upset caused by that [insert expletive] machine!

In the midst of all this though, I did manage to get out to watch a couple of Short-eared Owls hunting over grassland locally. It was a beautiful, sunny, calm evening. The air was alive with the sound of Skylarks and the owls hunted undeterred by the horse riders, joggers, dog walkers etc all in the area. I wasn't really able to get the shutter speeds necessary for flight shots but the photo above gives a flavour of what I saw. The birds will leave for their breeding grounds in the next week or so, so I was glad to have made the effort to see them when we had the right conditions.

That's it really. The right hip structures remain a problem. The left shoulder remains a problem. My energy levels remain a problem. I really hope my inner ears don't get added to this list of chronic problems....

Labyrinthitis Revisited

I think I was rather optimistic when I posted on Friday. I suspect that the virus has returned as the symptoms have not subsided or improved. I've just re-read my post December 2010 (Here) and it seems that, last time around, it was my hearing that was most painfully effected. Over the past 3 days, it's very definitely been the vestibular nerve that's in trouble this time.

Sleeping has been a real problem the last two nights. On Friday night, I lay down carefully and very slowly tried to turn over. It caused acute, intolerable vertigo. I spent the rest of the night employing the following strategy in order to move/turn over in bed: waking up, sitting up carefully/slowly, turning my body slowly and then very carefully lowering myself onto my other side. This wasn't without its difficulties i.e. vertigo, but it was tolerable. Last night, I tried the same thing but it was impossible. I couldn't find a way of turning over and lying on my right side. Whenever I got to a certain angle/position, it was like I hit a raw nerve and the vertigo was instantaneous and overwhelmingly extreme. The sensation through my head was like hearing someone running their fingernails down a blackboard whilst also being spun round at 100 mph - really not pleasant. I'd grab my head and carefully try to return it to a position that was tolerable, whilst the spinning subsided. Ultimately, I slept on my left side all night without moving which meant that, to be frank, I hardly slept at all. This morning, once I was properly awake, I did make a concerted effort to see if I could lie on my right side. I managed to get into position but on swallowing hard, it obviously caught the nerve in my ear and the vertigo was as before. It's very strange that it's worst when I'm lying on my right side.

I tried to get out and do things on Saturday afternoon but my visual processing was also effected (like last time) and I felt drained from the effort of coping. Today, it's been raining and snowing(!) so I've not been out and not really moved. However, I've continued to experience momentary spins (where it feels like my eyes are suddenly spun round in my head very fast). Sudden movements physically or visually cause acute vertigo. I'm not looking forward to trying to sleep again tonight.

Other than that, my ears do feel slightly 'full' but that's it. The vertigo (with its visual processing irregularities) is the key problem. I hope it doesn't last much longer....