One Year of Hydrotherapy

Thought I'd use another shot from the Wren sunbathing series. It really did look so warm and content. Bliss.

Been a week of ups and downs. I reached the significant milestone of completing one year of weekly hydrotherapy sessions. They have been the backbone of my recovery. Everything else has stemmed from the results of that. It's the pool work which got my muscles/nerves moving again without inducing crippling pain or injury. It's the pool work which has reconditioned those muscles/nerves to withstand multiple repetitions of use and increasing forces. It's the pool work which I look forward to each week as it gives both my mind and body a chance to relax and be soothed from the rigors of other conditioning work. I can't stress enough the benefits of water-based exercise!

I've not altered the routine since leaving the hospital pool at the end of May 2009 but what has changed is what I can manage during the rest of the week.

The downside of this week is that I have overdone it a little. I wore myself out completely on Wednesday and although I went to bed for an hour in the afternoon, I was wiped out on Thursday. That meant my resilience was extremely low and my therapy session on Thursday was a disaster really. I got badly triggered and I'm still trying to regain a sense of safety in the present. I've felt 'mentally ill' over the past few days and struggled to control flashbacks and destructive thinking patterns. I know it's mostly due to wearing myself out physically but at times like this it's hard not to feel scared of a relapse.

Anyways....keeping things steady and hopefully my mind will settle down again soon. Tired out!

Aches and Pains

This little Wren took the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine this week by resting quietly, preening and generally looking as cute as possible, sitting on the rail of the fence near my patio doors. Wrens are normally too fast and too small for me to capture with my camera but one that is stationary and less the 2 metres away gives me a chance. It was wonderful watching such a tiny little bird, up close, basking in the sunshine. And, I feel a bit like that right now - tired out, lol.

I've tried to get back to normal this week and shake off the last remnants of a bad cold. It's been both hard going and easy! Hard going because all the old aches and pains that I've worked so hard to try to condition out of the muscles/nerves have been back in earnest. My left hip and LHS mid/lower back have been constantly painful/problematic/tight/achy and my right hip has also been achy/painful on and off. This has been very disappointing and kinda worrying. The back and hip pain are as bad as they ever were when all this started 18 months ago!

The easy aspect is that my body seems to have fought off the cold in a very 'healthy', 'normal' way, which is encouraging. I always worry about my resilience and ability to cope with any kind of stress and it's heartening to discover my immune system is firing as it should be. I'm still feeling pretty tired from it all and the back and hip pain aren't helping but I'm doing ok!

Made it to table tennis and the pool this week, and pottery was also physically demanding yesterday. This morning I got out for my 50 min walk but felt rather weary from half way round onwards. My left hip stabiliser etc ached/hurt all the way around and my LHS mid/lower back pain is pretty bad, even after applying heat. I honestly don't know what I can do to eliminate this pain. I would have thought my core strength was sufficient now to stabilise my spine etc....?

Anyways....been a tired, bored afternoon - not got enough energy to do anything but am fed up sitting in front of the telly and then worry about the consequences of not moving enough, lol.

Stinking Cold

Had to take it very easy this week due to having a heavy cold. No table tennis, no hydrotherapy, no pottery. My sinuses and ears are still blocked, and the tickly cough is finally beginning to loosen up. Generally, I feel rough and can't wait for this stupid cold to go.

One day this week, I was in the kitchen and a flock of about 10 Blue Tits came into my small back garden. They flitted and cheeped around the bushes and fence near the kitchen window, and I managed to get the above shot. When they arrive in numbers like that, and come so close to view, it's pretty magical. Made my morning.

Sunshine

Finally some Spring sunshine and a beautiful female Blackbird celebrating with bathing 'fireworks'!

It's been another 2 weeks sticking to the rehab schedule. My head hasn't always been keeping up with my muscles and I've definitely had highs and lows (tears). Woke up today with a sore throat which I think I caught at pottery on Friday. Generally, even when I don't feel particularly well, I'm trying to stick to rehab because I reckon that more often than not, the feelings are psychologically based rather than muscular limitations. Last week, I didn't feel at all well on Monday/Tuesday but went along to table tennis on Tuesday evening and felt a lot better for it.

This week, I'm noticing subtle improvements. The pool work felt easier - I felt stronger. The bike work today felt easier (in spite of the sore throat and 'thick head') - I didn't have any hip/back pain whilst cycling and the usual shoulder/arm pain/aches were a lot less. I did have the LHS mid/lower back tightness/pain afterwards but it's not too bad. My muscles are adapting!

I'm hoping to keep up the momentum until Easter and then have a break, whilst I'm away. Since the start of the year, I've kept up a consistent effort to meet targets and it seems to be paying off. The break will be a welcome relief and a chance for muscles to grow.

A Sniffle

Kept up with all the rehab this week. There was no pottery on Friday due to it being half term, which turned out to be a good thing. I've been fighting off a mild cold, the main symptom being a sinus headache and a general feeling of having a 'thick head'. That came on Wednesday evening and is still hanging around. Today, I stuck to doing the 25 minutes on the bike but didn't go as fast as normal (I think I did 6 miles instead of 7+ miles). But, that's it. I've been too scared to do anything else in case it makes me feel really ill. I have so little confidence in my body/mind to respond in a healthy way to things that even a sniffle sends me running for Vitamin C and lots of rest. Admittedly, I feel pretty tired and washed out but I hate days where I seem to just have to wait for time to pass.

At the risk of speaking too soon, I do feel like I'm on the verge of my body actually starting to ramp up its rehab rate. It's been a good 16 months of minutely slow, painful progress but I'm getting glimpses now of my muscles, well my leg/hip/core muscles, being just about ready to cope with greater demands. I might begin to add in a session with ankle weights, doing some step-ups. We'll see.

Hoping I feel better tomorrow....

Pushing Limits

I've found myself trying to push my limits a little more this week. I am constantly on or just beyond what my body/mind can manage with a view to pushing it towards developing and growing. I walk a fine line between feeling utterly exhausted and ill, and feeling drained but knowing that with sleep I'll probably recover enough to function the next day. Anyway...

On Tuesday, I had a really enjoyable evening at table tennis. One of the first team players is recovering from an injury and he took the time to come and do some coaching with the 'social' players. I absolutely loved it. There's nothing like the feeling you get as you concentrate your mind and body to begin to master a stroke. I love the feeling of achievement and empowerment and that sublime freedom that comes when everything clicks into place and the body, mind and apparatus almost effortlessly produce the desired goal. Superb! After so many years of feeling powerless and helpless and trapped physically, it was one of the best feelings in the world.

That was my 6th week at table tennis. Each week I can feel my body has adapted a little more to the demands. Initially, my neck and upper body muscles were very achy and sore afterwards. The forces on my neck as I lent to reach for shots or bent down to pick up the ball etc were pretty significant and it's taking a while for my neck to strengthen up. But, it is getting there and wasn't as bad this week. My right shoulder is also improving gradually. It's a very good thing that the table tennis is an evening event and I can come home and sleep rather than having to endure what would be a day of aches/pains and exhaustion.

On Wednesday, I pushed myself to do 5 more reps on the abdominal exercises in the pool and did more time walking backwards/forwards. In the afternoon, I thought I would try to add something new to my rehab on Wednesdays. I did a 20 minute walk. Mmm....it did feel rather ambitious - I was already tired/sleepy from the morning and I certainly didn't feel like doing anything else! However, I managed it without injury. I was exhausted that evening - barely able to stay awake until bedtime and Thursday was definitely a recovery day (resting in front of the telly). But, I know that I have to keep pushing myself to tolerate more and I think it's the way forward. On Friday, I was tired and short-tempered but coped physically with the early morning pottery class.

Yesterday, I added another 10 minutes to my walk, making it a full hour. Today, I've done the 25 mins on the bike. It's been a tired/sleepy afternoon and I'm looking forward to bed!

Plodding on....

A similar sort of week as last week. Pushing on with everything. It's been another dull, grey, wet weekend and I've not done much apart from rehab and rest. I'm tired out. Frustrated with the LHS mid/lower back tightness/pain. I think I've narrowed the source of the pain down to the deep, soft tissue structures between the vertebrae. They simply seem to go into spasm with use of my core.....which, I suppose, suggests my core strength is still not good enough to stabilise my spine when walking/cycling etc. By the end of yesterday's 50 min walk, my LHS mid/lower back was really tight/painful. Today, it's not been much better although I was pleased I managed the 25 mins on the bike without too bad a flare up.

My shoulders/arms continue to hurt. Again....feeling impatient with the lack of progress in terms of reduction in pain. I've been rehabbing my shoulders for over a year and I would have thought they would have adapted by now. My body is painfully (lol!) slow to adapt!

Edit: I should add that my left shoulder has improved slightly - the range of pain-free motion is everso slightly bigger and it is getting stronger.