Friday 13 November 2009

A really bad day...

Having a really bad day. Excruciating pain in some muscle or other attached to my 'sitting bones' woke me up this morning. I turned over, went back to sleep and it occurred in the opposite side, again waking me up from dreams in which my leg was being amputated and I was crying in pain!

Both shoulder/scapular/arm muscles are stinging with knots and strains. I've got stinging strains on my ribs. I've still got the groin strains and a painful stinging knot deep in the LHS glutes which I have to be careful not to catch when I sit down. And to top it all, I went to my pottery class this afternoon and I couldn't knead the clay because it hurt my shoulders/ribs too much.

....couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I am just so fed up with the recurring injuries, the constant pain, the lack of appreciable progress, the limitations that all of this places on my life, the total lack of NHS provision to treat severe deconditioning, the fact that no-one seems to think about actually treating the tight, spastic muscles in a way that leads to their return to health! I cannot understand why my obvious rotator cuff 'spasticity' (i.e. it's locked solid in spasm, I think) isn't addressed?! Found this info on the net, which makes me even more worried that I could end up with chronic muscle pain/injuries unless someone actually helps me recondition the soft tissues properly. My glutes and LHS lower back are, as ever, a big concern. They are forever going into tight spasm and I don't think that's going to resolve on its own. Someone actually has to treat the muscles to enable them to heal and function properly.

*sigh*

Just one of those days where I feel overwhelmed by everything, can't stop bursting into tears and wish someone would tell me what I can do to make things better.....I feel powerless and as though there's nothing anyone can or will do to help me. I'm scared my right shoulder is going the same way as my left and I don't know how to prevent it or treat it.

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