More of the same

'My' garden Robin, in the glorious Spring sunshine, with the yellow Kerria in the foreground.

....yup, it's mostly been a case of just plugging away with things this week. The LHS mid/lower back tightness/pain hasn't flared up too much but the RHS thigh/hip/groin tightness/pain has been quite bad again. Not sure of the exact cause but perhaps there's some tendonitis in there somewhere as this is a problem which has been around from the start really, waxing and waning.

There was no table tennis this week so I made up the time with more walking. The fact that I've had to go back and forth to the opticians all week, trying to sort out my new prescription, made the extra exercise quite easy! Man, I hate it when new glasses don't work out first time. I got thoroughly stressed by it all. Anyways, I'm waiting to talk to the optician again this Tuesday to sort out what's wrong.

Stuck to the routine in the pool on Wednesday and also managed 4 or 5 (can't remember for sure) lengths of very gentle breaststroke. My arms/shoulders are coping ok (painful/achy but not unbearable afterwards). The left shoulder bursa/infraspinatus tendon pain does get aggravated but, as usual, I reckon I have to find the balance between pushing things forward and avoiding injury.

The bike work felt ok today (not as tired as last week) and I followed it up with 20 reps of step-ups with 1lb ankle weights and 10 reps with 2.5lb ankle weights. I've not needed to sleep this afternoon but I do feel tired.

Note added 20:20: Generally feeling pleased with how my body has coped with rehab this weekend. I haven't needed to doze/sleep in the afternoons. I know I pushed hard on the step-ups this afternoon - both hip stabilisers and glutes are achy and sore, the backs of my knees (hamstrings) are sore/twingey and my lower back is a little strained/painful. I've iced the worst areas and a hot bath tonight should help.

Little by little

The last of my sunbathing Wren shots.

I'm continuing to notice subtle but significant improvements in my strength and stamina. Little things, like it's not so painful/difficult to carry a shopping basket in the supermarket or the absence of left shoulder/arm pain when washing up. Most noticeable this week has been the reduction in LHS mid/lower back pain. I think I had at least 5 days in a row where the usual tightness and pain was essentially undetectable. My Saturday morning walk yesterday aggravated the area again but generally, I think the tissues/structures are improving. Up until this week, I think I could have counted on one hand the number of days without back pain in the last 2-3 years.

I was concerned about table tennis this week - I just didn't want to injure my back again. Anyways, my strategy of continually monitoring/engaging my core, bending at the knees to pick up the balls and not overstretching to reach shots seemed to pay off and, although my back was very tired at the end of the evening, there was no lasting strain.

I woke up Wednesday morning with a mild strain to the top of my right thigh so took that into consideration during my hydrotherapy session. My left shoulder is less painful although still very restricted but, over the last few months, I've been testing out and building up to swimming using very gentle breaststroke. This week I thoroughly enjoyed being able to swim 3 lengths (it's only a dinky pool, 25 metres) of very cautious, gentle breaststroke. My arms and shoulders were exhausted by it but it's a start! It felt great. If I can swim, there's a real chance for improving my upper body strength.

An indication this week of the adaptations of muscles came in the guise of my biennial eye test. My last test was done Oct 2007, just as I was starting my iron treatment. It took 2 years to rectify my iron levels and, as is obvious, that improvement has effected my whole body. Tests this week showed that the muscles in my weak right eye have improved significantly, by 2 steps (meaning that I can now focus and read the lines of size-decreasing letters two rows lower than I could previously). I suspect the cause is a combination of better physical health and the use of my spotting scope for birding watching (which I always look through with my right eye). Anyways, my optician was surprised and pleased for me - both eye muscles are now equally strong.

I did my 25 mins on the exercise bike this morning but my legs felt tired from the outset. That didn't stop me upping the resistance (yes, with hindsight, I see the flaw in this cunning plan...!) from 2 to 3 (on a scale between 1 and 8) for 8 minutes between the 5th and 13th minute. My legs complained and I felt the energy drain from me rapidly! Needless to say I'm feeling wiped out this afternoon and may head to bed once I've finished this.

Note added 18:10: ....yup, went to sleep/snoozed in the quiet on the sofa for an hour this afternoon. I was overwhelmed with tiredness. I guess the reason why the cycling is so much more exhausting than, say, walking, is the recruitment of less frequently used muscles and nerve networks. Looking forward to bed tonight!

A Few Days Rest

This is one of a pair of Robins who consider my garden their territory. I'd gone out to refill the feeders and this little fella came to warn me off. It perched on the fence less then 2 metres from me and watched. I popped back inside to grab the camera and it allowed me to take a few snaps before putting a bit more distance between us.

I'd been looking forward to Easter as an opportunity to take a break from rehab for a few days and it didn't disappoint.

The increase in pain a few weeks ago has essentially reverted back to where it was before I had the cold. It seems I really do have to keep my body moving.

Last week was pretty difficult mentally. Trying to calm down the issues raised in therapy was almost impossible. I wrote the following on 29/3/2010: when it's like this it's like all these gates have been opened in my head and my thoughts are pulled down streams which should be blocked off or resolved or not even there. Suddenly there are all these awful, dark, obsessive trains of thought that my mind gets trapped in and finding a way out is like trying to escape a maze. Which ever way I turn I end up back in the same place. dark, twisted, dreadful. you don't feel safe. the world doesn't feel safe. nothing feels safe or comprehensible.

....anyways.....time has gone on and getting away at Easter helped to get back into 'the present' (rather than trapped in past terror).

I stayed longer at table tennis last week but managed to strain my lower back. That's taken a good 6 days to stop hurting.

Whilst away, I had an appointment with a personal trainer who also offers massage therapy. I'd arranged too to have her talk through her WaterRower (http://www.waterrower.com/en/how_it_works.htm) with me and allow me to try it out. She's extremely knowledgeable and helpful, and we talked through the benefits of rowing for conditioning and strengthening. Basically, I need something that's going to help me focus on my upper body, which I realise is going to take years to recondition. Rowing seems like the gentlest solution and the WaterRower in particular will work perfectly with my limitations - it's self-regulating and smooth. It is expensive but I think it's worth the investment, especially as I am looking at years rather than months. I was very pleased to discover that I could use the rower without difficulty (my frozen shoulder had enough range of motion and my back/hips were flexible enough).

Anyways...the massage was wonderful. She identified that my left iliotibial band (ITB) was very tight/short/knotted, there was a knot in the top of my hamstring, there was a knot in my right subscapularis/rhomboid/trapezius complex, tightness in terres major and minor, and a knot in the left lower trapezius/latissmus complex. It took a day or two for everything to heal!

Home now and taking it easy today. I want my back to be ok for tomorrow's table tennis.

One Year of Hydrotherapy

Thought I'd use another shot from the Wren sunbathing series. It really did look so warm and content. Bliss.

Been a week of ups and downs. I reached the significant milestone of completing one year of weekly hydrotherapy sessions. They have been the backbone of my recovery. Everything else has stemmed from the results of that. It's the pool work which got my muscles/nerves moving again without inducing crippling pain or injury. It's the pool work which has reconditioned those muscles/nerves to withstand multiple repetitions of use and increasing forces. It's the pool work which I look forward to each week as it gives both my mind and body a chance to relax and be soothed from the rigors of other conditioning work. I can't stress enough the benefits of water-based exercise!

I've not altered the routine since leaving the hospital pool at the end of May 2009 but what has changed is what I can manage during the rest of the week.

The downside of this week is that I have overdone it a little. I wore myself out completely on Wednesday and although I went to bed for an hour in the afternoon, I was wiped out on Thursday. That meant my resilience was extremely low and my therapy session on Thursday was a disaster really. I got badly triggered and I'm still trying to regain a sense of safety in the present. I've felt 'mentally ill' over the past few days and struggled to control flashbacks and destructive thinking patterns. I know it's mostly due to wearing myself out physically but at times like this it's hard not to feel scared of a relapse.

Anyways....keeping things steady and hopefully my mind will settle down again soon. Tired out!

Aches and Pains

This little Wren took the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine this week by resting quietly, preening and generally looking as cute as possible, sitting on the rail of the fence near my patio doors. Wrens are normally too fast and too small for me to capture with my camera but one that is stationary and less the 2 metres away gives me a chance. It was wonderful watching such a tiny little bird, up close, basking in the sunshine. And, I feel a bit like that right now - tired out, lol.

I've tried to get back to normal this week and shake off the last remnants of a bad cold. It's been both hard going and easy! Hard going because all the old aches and pains that I've worked so hard to try to condition out of the muscles/nerves have been back in earnest. My left hip and LHS mid/lower back have been constantly painful/problematic/tight/achy and my right hip has also been achy/painful on and off. This has been very disappointing and kinda worrying. The back and hip pain are as bad as they ever were when all this started 18 months ago!

The easy aspect is that my body seems to have fought off the cold in a very 'healthy', 'normal' way, which is encouraging. I always worry about my resilience and ability to cope with any kind of stress and it's heartening to discover my immune system is firing as it should be. I'm still feeling pretty tired from it all and the back and hip pain aren't helping but I'm doing ok!

Made it to table tennis and the pool this week, and pottery was also physically demanding yesterday. This morning I got out for my 50 min walk but felt rather weary from half way round onwards. My left hip stabiliser etc ached/hurt all the way around and my LHS mid/lower back pain is pretty bad, even after applying heat. I honestly don't know what I can do to eliminate this pain. I would have thought my core strength was sufficient now to stabilise my spine etc....?

Anyways....been a tired, bored afternoon - not got enough energy to do anything but am fed up sitting in front of the telly and then worry about the consequences of not moving enough, lol.

Stinking Cold

Had to take it very easy this week due to having a heavy cold. No table tennis, no hydrotherapy, no pottery. My sinuses and ears are still blocked, and the tickly cough is finally beginning to loosen up. Generally, I feel rough and can't wait for this stupid cold to go.

One day this week, I was in the kitchen and a flock of about 10 Blue Tits came into my small back garden. They flitted and cheeped around the bushes and fence near the kitchen window, and I managed to get the above shot. When they arrive in numbers like that, and come so close to view, it's pretty magical. Made my morning.

Sunshine

Finally some Spring sunshine and a beautiful female Blackbird celebrating with bathing 'fireworks'!

It's been another 2 weeks sticking to the rehab schedule. My head hasn't always been keeping up with my muscles and I've definitely had highs and lows (tears). Woke up today with a sore throat which I think I caught at pottery on Friday. Generally, even when I don't feel particularly well, I'm trying to stick to rehab because I reckon that more often than not, the feelings are psychologically based rather than muscular limitations. Last week, I didn't feel at all well on Monday/Tuesday but went along to table tennis on Tuesday evening and felt a lot better for it.

This week, I'm noticing subtle improvements. The pool work felt easier - I felt stronger. The bike work today felt easier (in spite of the sore throat and 'thick head') - I didn't have any hip/back pain whilst cycling and the usual shoulder/arm pain/aches were a lot less. I did have the LHS mid/lower back tightness/pain afterwards but it's not too bad. My muscles are adapting!

I'm hoping to keep up the momentum until Easter and then have a break, whilst I'm away. Since the start of the year, I've kept up a consistent effort to meet targets and it seems to be paying off. The break will be a welcome relief and a chance for muscles to grow.