Rung Out

I'm not sure what's been going on with me over the past 10 days. I was particularly tired/sleepy/worn out after last week's gym session and took the usual painkillers for the right butt/hip/leg discomfort to be able to sleep on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. Monday, I was taking painkillers for a headache and generally feeling rung out. And that theme has continued and continues....

I've basically felt like all my get up and go has got up and gone. I feel drained mentally. Physically, I actually think I've recovered from the gym session, but my head/brain is completely fatigued. I went out birding on Tuesday and Wednesday, when the sun shone, but mentally, it felt like an up-hill climb the whole time. All I really wanted to do was crash out. I haven't had any patience or tolerance for anything that requires effort/thought. By Friday, the task of figuring out what to feed myself for the day was as much as I could manage. Needless to say, I skipped my gym session and had a very quiet, still day at home. And, it genuinely felt like it took all day to figure out what to eat for the next meal.

My hayfever has been really bad too, which doesn't help. And, I've been getting momentary episodes of vertigo on a daily basis. Most often, it's whilst propped up in bed, reading, before I go to sleep but I've also had them whilst watching TV or working at my PC. Interestingly, the week before I had the last severe attack of vertigo/vestibular neuritis, I felt very drained/exhausted. The other issue which dogged me for a few weeks was daily and almost constant severe scalp tenderness around the back/sides of my head. Basically, my scalp suddenly gets extremely painful when palpated and, if I rub/massage the areas, the relief I feel through my whole body is immense. I guess it's excessive muscle tension or something.Cause, unknown; solution, unknown....as usual!...but today, it's fine.

Furthermore, I look as pale as I feel, which never helps. All in all, I look and feel like death warmed up and I've no idea why. I took an iron tablet on Friday in the hope that was the problem but it had no effect. Yesterday, I wondered whether maybe I needed to do some exercise to kick start my system. It was a kind of kill or cure solution. In the afternoon, I got on my exercise bike and did 30 mins (7.5 miles) at varying levels of difficult and speed. I followed that with 10 minutes of stretches, glute bridges and general hip strengthening. I felt no better for it. I still felt completely mentally drained. I had no sense of any energy or adrenaline. Within about an hour of finishing, I felt even more tired and drained than I did before and the usual right butt/hip/groin discomfort had kicked in. The only bonus was I slept well last night!

Today will be another quiet day, doing nothing. I feel so completely mentally fatigued. My brain feels fried and I've got no capacity to cope with any demands etc. I don't feel like driving anywhere to go birding. At the slightest sign of effort, I want to give up and go home. I guess it's depression....due to the continuing social isolation and grind/pain of rehabilitation. Generally, I find ways of coping but every so often, it gets too much and my head says enough is enough....

Ah well....