Fear of overdoing it

Blue Tit enjoying the water (like I did this morning). I'd refilled the bird bath with tepid tap water last week, having gotten rid of the ice, and this little fella immediately swooped down and just 'soaked in the tub'.

Finally made it back to the pool this morning after the snow kept me away the last 2 weeks. I had been worried about how I'd cope after table tennis last night but so far so good. It actually felt lovely to be back in the water and my left shoulder seemed to be moving more freely. The LHS mid/lower back didn't feel so tight/painful afterwards either.

Table tennis last night presented the typical problem of trying to figure out when/if I'm overdoing it. There were plenty of tables available so no chance of being forced to sit out (and thus rest!) for a while. After about 20 minutes of playing, my right shoulder began to hurt (I think it's the front deltoid muscle?). I eventually explained I needed a rest but felt bad for depriving my partner of playing time. Anyways...to cut a long story short I ended up playing for over an hour and by that point I could feel the panic rising.

The fear of overdoing it is as much an obstacle as anything else! It's so difficult to know when my body/brain has had enough. I can't rely on how I feel (the bird watching experience before Christmas showed me that - at the time, I felt fine, but an hour later I felt really ill and it took me over a week to recover). I can't rely on how my body feels - pains/aches aren't necessarily an injury or fatigue (sometimes something just hurts cos I'm using it when it's not used to being used!). The best guide I have really is time. If I've been doing something active for 20 minutes, my mind automatically begins to think about limits. Have I had enough? Do I feel tired? What else have I done today? What do I need to do later? How long will it take me to recover from this? My whole experience becomes set within a context of limited resources and how I can manage and best use them.

Yesterday evening, I came home feeling really stressed and tired after the table tennis. I was terrified that I'd gone way too far and that I'd be paying for it today. I was scared it would set back my progress. I was scared the painful right shoulder would be an injury that would then prevent me from carrying on with the table tennis until I'd gained sufficient shoulder strength/stability. After about half an hour of playing, I stopped enjoying it because all I could think about was what it might cost me. I guess confidence in ones body comes with experience. The more times I do something and feel ok, the less terrified I'll be the next time. It constantly feels like I'm walking a tight-rope and any minute I can slip and fall, without warning.

Anyways.....feeling pleased with this morning's pool experience. I had better quality sleep last night compared with how it's been the last month or so, and I'm sure that helps.